Custody battle.....

suicidejockey

LooseCannonUTV - UTVUnderground Approved
Mar 13, 2009
156
2
18
34
Heber City, UT
Joey. If you don't think this is appropriate let me know and I will remove the link. :confused:

Ok so here's the deal. I have been divorced for about three years and have two kids with my ex. (4 and 8) boy and girl who I'd do anything for. So I have joint legal and joint physical custody which means I'm supposed to have at least 125 nights a year at my house with them.

Here is the problem. My ex decided to pick up and move overnight to the east coast (from Utah) for no other apparent reason than to be difficult. (All of her family live here in Utah or Wyoming except for one sister out there)

So that makes it mighty damn difficult to see them like I'm supposed to and makes it ridiculously expensive on top of that. I Haven't seen them since August and haven't even talked to them for two months because she refuses to answer the phone or even tell me where she is. (I know she's in PA but not much more detail then that.) She is trying to completely cut me out of the kids life and I can't, and won't, let that happen.

I have gone back to court to try to get custody of my kids or at least make her move back so I and their grandparents can see them and have a relationship with them. It has gotten very expensive very quick and I am having a hard time keeping up with it. I have sold everything I have to try to help with the costs as my kids mean everything to me. They are why I get up and bust my ass every day to provide a good living. I know the underground peeps are good fam people and can understand my feelings.

That is why i come to you asking for help, I have drained my accounts in court costs already and the fight has just begun.

I'm asking for help in either advice, moral support or to donate to the go fund me account that has been set up to help with this.

Which can be found here.....www.gofundme.com/hdu2dc

It's hard for me to even ask for help as I try my best to be completely independent and self sufficient, but I'm scraping bottom. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Jordan.
 

JoeyD23

#utvunderground
Jan 9, 2009
18,568
1,368
113
40
North County San Diego
www.utvunderground.com
Dude thats horrible... Maybe one of our members here is or knows someone who is a good family law attorney that would help you fight this at a deal. Wish i could help or give you advice. Its really too bad that people like your wife choose to use the kids as the means of hurting the other person. I wish you luck bro!
 

suicidejockey

LooseCannonUTV - UTVUnderground Approved
Mar 13, 2009
156
2
18
34
Heber City, UT
Thanks Joey. It's amazing that people can be so evil for petty childish reasons. It's been one of the toughest times in my life as my kids mean the world to me. I appreciate the support bud.
 

motive

Active Member
Jan 12, 2014
219
94
28
Pleasant Grove, UT
Hang in there. Don't give up hope. When you do get to talk to your kids make sure you let them know you have been trying to find them but don't stoop and blame their mom (even if it is her fault).

My brother was a lawyer in family law. He couldn't take seeing parents use their kids every day as a weapon. The things some people did was so bad he couldn't take it and had to change professions. Don't be one of those people. Eventually your kids will be old enough to see through the BS and realize the truth.

What is your schedule around lunchtime? I have to go to Heber for work sometime this week. I'll buy you lunch.
 

dezerteryx

Active Member
Jun 13, 2010
891
28
28
san marcos
Being that you have a legal court document saying what you are entitled to i would call the pa police and file either charges or have them put pressure on her. If she left without telling u any info or address of were they are at or without permission being you have joint custody that could be considered kidnapping. I have had friends in similar situations hope you get to see them soon.
 

jeff 1930

New Member
May 9, 2012
6
0
1
I was in a similar situation many years ago my ex took off with my son to Oregon I called the police they tracked her down and she was arrested for kidnapping & I got full custody of my son. wish you good luck in your fight hope you get to see your kids soon or at least get to talk to them.
 

Kalop

XP900
May 3, 2013
393
56
28
Damn that sux.

I'm not sure from reading your post how long she's been out of state? As soon as she left out of city (nevertheless) the state, you should have been all over with police and attorney actions, as urgently as possible, like 911 urgency. If weeks or months have passed, the longer she's been "gone", the harder the battle will be, you got jurisdiction and precedent issues and whole bunch of other legalese that's going to cost you a fortune in time, energy, and money. And the longer it gets drawn out.. the worse it will be for you. :(

Good luck... I can't express words to convey my sadness if I couldn't see my daughter regularly. I can't imagine what your going through. :(
 

Rzrcsi

La Familia
Jun 18, 2012
1,218
71
48
Central Cal.
Check and see which agency in your area handles child abduction. In my county it is the District Attorneys Office. In California you would be dealing with a parental abduction. Serious stuff. Not sure how your State is/will view it. Good Luck.
 

suicidejockey

LooseCannonUTV - UTVUnderground Approved
Mar 13, 2009
156
2
18
34
Heber City, UT
Thanks everyone for the support and advice. It's been a long and expensive road not to mention exhausting. I definitely won't give give up trying to keep and maintain a relationship with my kids. EVER! It doesn't matter how long it takes or how evil she is. They are worth it That is one thing I can say is I have never stooped to her level and talked crap about her or talked negative about her around my kids. No matter how much I hate her she is still their mother.
Motive my schedule is all over. I haul crude oil. But I can usually meet around lunch time within a couple hours.
 

badassmav

Well-Known Member
Jun 11, 2013
1,379
182
63
56
Jamul
I just can't understand how someone who was once madly in love with their partner, can suddenly, or in time, abandon or tear apart what they worked so hard to build. More so in cases like yours, where the estranged "Whacko" has turned such a radical leaf that they actually manipulate and poison the minds of the innocent children they are obligated to protect, without regard for the long term damage, pain, and/or confusion they may cause. More often than not, the children turn into young adults, and search for the truth. But by that time, their minds and perception of marriage and commitments are already skewed, putting them at risk to repeat the same selfish actions that scarred them in their childhood. I can accept that time can change peoples goals and aspirations, but why do they need to be so evil in pursuing selfish and hurtful endeavors? I have no children, so I don't claim to even know the torment, anger, pain, of depression you must be experiencing.

I was happily married for 15 years to someone who gave me the best years of my life. I could count on one hand the total amount of arguments we had in that time. She never had to work, or raise any children. She always drove new cars, had nice clothes and jewelry, and strong family support, and I was as faithful as a husband as one could hope for. About 5 or 6 years ago (I'm not sure how long it's been, but 5 years at least), she went on a two week vacation to visit her sister in New Hampshire. Gave me a big hug and kiss at the airport with her amazing bright eyes, and said she'd see me when she returned. She never expressed any displeasure in our marriage, or in me. She was bordering on being subservient, and I never liked that because in my eyes, we were equal. Long story short, she didn't come back. Left her jewelry, clothes, and personal effects. Just left it all behind like it had no value. After being gone for 8 months, she finally came back to face me. Couldn't give me any reason why she left me. Told me her sister introduced her to a friend, who was financially sound I guess. He bought her a new turbo Porsche, and she never looked back. In the 18 months that followed, I nursed both of my parents to their deaths, and have been a piece of shit since. Couldn't care less if I see tomorrow or not. I am bitter, and will never again share myself with another. Physically, or emotionally. I can only think that I must have been a pretty bad husband for someone to abandoned me like that. I thought I treated her exceptionally well. I had a strong income, and always gave her the things she said she wanted (except children, but she didn't want that bad enough to go to fertility treatments). Go figure:confused:. To this day, I'm not mad at her. How could I be? Of all my past memories, the ones of our time together I cherish the most. They were after all, the best years of my life.:) I always think that if we had children (for some reason, we never conceived in 15 years of intimacy) things might be different.

I guess the point of my rant is that you have 2 beautiful children who, even though they are currently being deprived of your involvement in their lives, fight to believe in you, no matter what crap they are being fed. That seed is all that is needed for them to flourish, once they learn that you have fought and gave everything you had, in order to share this time with them. As young adults, they will seek the truth, and you will again enjoy their presence in your life. It is inspiring to me that you tirelessly fight to see them again, and that you are not ashamed to reach out for help. I know you must be desperate, but remember that they will be back again in the future, so try to keep yourself together and remain strong and psychologically healthy for your sake, and theirs. I wish I could offer relief to you in some way. If I had money, I'd give some to you (because it has no value to me) Just know that you are fighting the good fight, and perseverance will be yours in time.
 

suicidejockey

LooseCannonUTV - UTVUnderground Approved
Mar 13, 2009
156
2
18
34
Heber City, UT
Damn Reid, your story has a lot of resemblance to mine. I left for work, nothing seemed to be wrong, I was gone for a few hours and she called and said we are getting a divorce. She packed her shit and left. It came out of the blue. She never worked since being prego with the first kid. I gave her everything I could to make her happy, my loyalty, love and hard work. It wasn't perfect by any means but things seemed good. Her only explaniation was that she didn't want to be married anymore
Reid. Not going to lie, it means a lot. You have a wealth of knowledge of LIFE. I can say this for me,and I would imagine most of the forum, we look up to you and respect you and what you have to say. You put it out there even if someone's sensitive feelers get hurt. What you say is what keeps me going moving forward with this. Having them grow up and know the truth and know that I've tried from day one to be involved with their life and show them my love. Thanks again.
 

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